Promises
by sepoveda
Summary: Liara seeks solace.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: This is a warning...don't read this if you have an expectation of rosy chipper happy Liara...I explore human nature (errr...Asari Nature) in all it's forms...light...dark and the shades of gray.**_

* * *

The darkness was accentuated by the sounds of exertion.

A sliver of light illuminated heavy lidded gray eyes.

Her hands searched fruitlessly for the familiar geography.

Passion and pleasure were unable to drown the disappointment.

Only finding sweat slicked softness…no scars or burns.

Her hips moved as if on their own volition willing the illusion to remain.

Her hands moved into the thicket of the human's hair…

Pulling mercilessly as the anger sprouted within her-accentuating every pulsating vibration of their intercourse.

She stared into those eyes…seeing the passion, desire, and pleasure.

She noted the absence of the familiar glint of confidence and determination.

She wanted to scream in frustration, cry in disappointment.

Hands too soft to have ever fired a weapon explored her curves.

She pushed them aside.

A single drop of sweat trickled from her nose falling into the darkness.

She envied that droplet…to fall into the darkness to follow him where she could not go.

Instead she drove forward.

She prayed for release, from this existence, from this illusion.

She'd created this deception, a refuge from the darkness of her life.

Instead she could feel the chaos within unfurl.

Her nails bit into the tender flesh…She would change the geography of his body.

She would sculpt the man she needed instead of the one lying beneath her.

Instead of pain she saw pleasure.

She wanted him to hurt, to feel the screams within her soul.

She wanted to unleash her mind and flood his with her essence.

She wondered if she could force the memories of their brief time together into this Adonis.

Transition him into the embodiment of human perfection. Re-create the pinnacle of his species.

His hands wandered to her bared breasts…

They were foreign and alien to her flesh. She rejected them and tossed his hands aside once more.

She rode him despite her fatigue-she would have what she demanded. She dug unflinchingly into his flesh trying to redefine and rebuild him.

Her control unraveling even as the memories began to fade. She couldn't let them go…

She could see nothing but the abyss.

Her life had become emptiness without her protector – her avenger – her savior.

Her mind slowly began to unfurl the delusion she'd carefully crafted.

This would no longer suffice to fill the hole left within her heart.

It was all wrong.

Their passion had been a slow burning fire…smoldering at first.

Playful and gentle teasing…

It built ever so slowly - roaring to life with need and aching consumption, until nothing was left but one unified flame.

Instead she was pumping her hips rapidly trying to create a flame from fire retardant material.

She wept.

Tears mingled with the sweat as exhausted limbs trembled…threatening to give way.

Blue eyes slowly faded to the color of the darkness that draped the room. She would force this man to bend to her will.

She stilled above the human.

The unfamiliar mind was overwhelmed with images of their shy courtship, their quiet talks, and stolen kisses.

She relinquished control and the soft glow of biotic light seeped into the darkness.

Memories of passion and undeniable pleasure surged forth crushing the human's mind under their weight.

The red tidal wave washed over them once more claiming her life and love.

The images of the Prothean extinction drove them both deeper into the depths of madness.

She wanted to destroy this human.

She wanted to eradicate his very being – his only crime was failing to be someone else.

She barely registered the tremors and contortions of the human form.

She instead tried in vain to find him…that little piece of himself locked within her.

She'd come so close to finding that small bright vibrant beacon…

She could almost touch it…but it was lost to her.

Her head dropped and her body vibrated with her sobs.

A single agonizing scream pierced the quiet.

She collapsed on top of the still figure.

Once gray eyes seared a clear milky white by the now dying biotic energy remained unseen.

It seemed an eternity before she disentangled herself from her failed experiment.

She picked up her robe and left the room.

The light in the corridor stung her red rimmed eyes.

She motioned to a servant. The remains would be destroyed.

Her shuddering movements revealed her utter despair.

Life had lost meaning…only death would bring him back to her…

She remained imprisoned in this empty life by a promise…

A promise that she would live…She'd been a fool to make such a promise.

"Love makes fools of us all."

* * *

A servant approached the Matriarch overseeing the removal of the body.

"She has been bathed and put to bed."

Only a nod in response and the servant disappeared down the hall.

A voice from the shadows spoke quietly.

"She's mad you know. She followed him into the darkness."


	2. Chapter 2

She had anticipated the chaos

She arrived ten minutes earlier

Anonymously moving through the crowd

Every species was represented in the throng

Some trying to get a glimpse of the war hero

Others the widow of their Messiah

Their eyes locked on her private shuttle unaware she moved among them

Following her own path had led her back to her mother's perch

Fate had deluded her into believing she was free

Entering the apartment had reminded her of a dig site

She remembered the smell of stagnant water

The stale air of the ruins

It had invigorated her to step into the past

Here…she felt trapped by memories…Therum

Could she be rescued by him?

In the end he was more machine, than human

Was she becoming something similar?

He'd loved her

While she loved nothing

A man once flesh and blood

Now smoke and ash

No

Whatever she'd become

It bore no resemblance to the man she'd loved

She felt the echoes of her past

Resentment, anger, and loneliness hung in the air

Alone most of her life without experiencing love

She'd craved it

Now having had it only to watch as it disintegrate

It seemed like madness

To strive in vain for something that could not be attained

Even when found it was elusive

Love was finite it always came to an end

Whether by death or the passage of time

How could one life absorb everything?

Her mother's shadow cast her into darkness

His first death launched her into the light

She was a creature forged in the fires of a personal hell

How had she resurrected herself after such a devastating loss

If she could only remember

Maybe she could find her way back

A way back to him

A voice from the shadows whispered

_I'm always coming back._

A lie

She'd thought Illium would have the answer she sought

Instead a memory she couldn't touch hung in the air

She touched the case containing the only piece of him in the room

She could almost feel him

His lips against her own

Whispering promises

Each broken

She remembered that day

The day of broken promises

* * *

_Searing hot shrapnel breached the armor_

_Her flesh screamed a leg buckled_

_She crashed to the ground _

_Her eyes never leaving the man she chose to follow_

_No_

_She hadn't chosen this_

_The constant danger the worry _

_Love had never been a choice_

_Dark violet stained hands clawed at the blackened earth_

_She dragged her unwilling body after him_

_In a flash of red light he was gone_

_A bloodstained scorch mark upon his home world_

_Yet she continued her slow trek towards him_

_Would she ever stop chasing after him?_

_Only a few agonizing moments later she watched him rise_

_If he could withstand such violent force _

_Surely she could do the same_

_Her mind was willing but her body weak_

_She collapsed once more _

_Her screams unheard by the ringing in her ear_

_He never looked back_

_Her fingers clawed the dirt as she dragged herself forward_

_The beam was within reach when a pair of strong hands took hold_

_Pulling her away _

_No…_

_Her throat was raw, but she yelled to be released_

_She would follow him _

_Her body had failed her_

_She had failed him_

_Yet again she was helpless_

_It was Therum all over again_

_Imprisoned by her own failures_

_She prayed to a false Goddess_

_Hoping for one moment she could be real again_

_Maybe if she believed_

* * *

The memory faded

The Matriarch whose shadow had caged her

She was to blame

She'd led the human to her

He'd been searching for the Matriarch

When he'd found the Maiden

Her decision to mate with an Asari that caused her to be ostracized

She would have known love

Happiness without the human

The Matriarch had caused every ounce of pain in her soul

Her mother's voice broke into her thoughts

_You sought the isolation of tombs_

_Preferring the company of the dead to the living_

_You are the monstrosity that takes lives willingly_

_I take responsibility for being an absent mother_

_Blocking your path _

_And denying you a mother's love_

_I will not accept blame for what you have become_

_An empty vessel abusing her power to fulfill a pointless fantasy_

She shut out the voice

There were no innocents

It had been for them he'd died

Every life owed her restitution for what she'd lost

Nothing about him had been pointless

He'd done what no one else could

Yet he never looked back

Did he realize he would not return?

Had he known would he have looked back?

She could feel the anger

The resentment of being left behind over and over again

By her father

Her mother

Him

Humans made so many promises they could not keep

Was it their lifespan?

Did they believe they would not live long enough to be held to them?

Nothing was stopping her from breaking her promise

She could find peace in the ….

No, there was no Goddess

Only a Prothean lie

She had nothing left to believe in

There was a time she would have sought the answers

In the ruins of Therum, Illos, or Feros

But now…the truth was known to her

They had usurped the knowledge of those before them

The Protheans could not accomplish the one thing he could

It always came back to him

He would hold the answer

She had to find him

The glass case shattered and she picked up the last remnant of him

She would follow him to the end of his path

If he could not be found there

He did not wish to be found

He had turned his back upon her for the last time

She looked down at the glass upon the floor

Was she as irrevocably broken?

There had been a time when she believed

When hope existed within her mind

Any hope she harnessed always dissolved

When she realized there was no substitute

He could not be replaced

She left the apartment

It had once held despair and rage, but there had also been hope

Now all hope was lost


End file.
